I’m the good daughter, the one that takes care of everything, the adult that acts cordial with my parents despite all the underlying brokenness between us. It’s only because I’m the oldest and I know, I know the people my parents used to be and who they have become over the years and I know that they will never really change. So I am the good daughter, the one who makes it all easier, but goddamn, it is nowhere close to easy for me. It fucking kills me, but I just smile and nod cos that’s the person I am. The reliable one. 

I am not existing for their convenience, I am the abstract reflection of their own existence. I am the mark they are leaving on the world, I am righting their wrongs by being the person they couldn’t be, but by no means I am existing for their own convenience.